Where am I

I seem to have walked into a room with such lights that I can't see. But I wonder is it that I can't see or that I mayn't or that I won't. Which am I doing or having done on me? It feels that I can't see by virtue of the fact that I mayn't. But It thinks that I won't, but why not?

Do I chose to be blind? Do I fear the truth? Or, by being blind, I make the other blind to me? Yet I think I see the truth meekly, I seek to merely feel good, the very state I think that of a fool! But I do love the fool, now what am I thinking?

Maybe if I close my eyes I can see better? But then I won't see the room! Maybe if I stare I can see better? But then I can't see the room as my eyes burn! Maybe I'll turn around? But that's the fools way but that I mayn't! Hmmmm

I mayn't equals I won't but does I can't?